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Clogs, Was Dr Scholl a Visionary of Our Times?
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| Clog thought the latest GAP commercial was a tad dull |
From an early age I've had a keen interest in clogs, I developed this
(secret) interest from attending clog fairs throughout Europe. To illustrate the Talents of Dr. William M Scholl I have used
one of my favourite clogs, "Dr. Scholl's Exercise sandals" Enjoy.
Dr. Scholl's exercise sandals, idle for more than
a decade, are back in stride. The humble slide with patented contour beechwood insole, raised toe grip and adjustable leather
strap began as a £2 chemist staple displayed next to the bunion pads and callous remover. Now Dr. Scholl's border on chic.
They've been seen on Cindy Crawford, Ricki Lake and Cybill Shepherd. They've been noted in the summer issues of Mademoiselle,
Marie Claire, Entertainment Weekly, Seventeen, Sassy and YM magazines.
Today, at about £50 a pair, they're trotting
out of stores coast to coast, from Nordstrom to Urban Outfitters, Famous Footwear and scores of hip boutiques. They are available
in the original colors of navy, white, red and tan, and an added starter, black. The shoe traces its steps back to 1956 when
Dr. Scholl's, an American foot care and footwear company, began marketing in Europe a wooden-soled "exercise sandal" created
by Chicago physician William M. Scholl. The raised wooden toe grip purported to tone the calves.
As explained above,
not only is the exercise sandal a set of wheels that is a must for any fashionable dude, they are "fucking" good for your
stems.
All I can say is that Dr. William M Scholl is certainly a visionary of my time. If any of you are keen to come
with me on the Amsterdam Clog fair then give me a ring, and maybe we could share a cabin. This trip would certainly open your
eyes further,
TFC
Why I Should Have Stayed At Durham
Last year a group of intrepid vagrants
from Durham University, in their collective wisdom and high UCAS point totals, decided to show Edinbra village exactly what
elite the people of Scotland (I don't know where it is either, apparently North somewhere) should look up too. During the
course of this expedition they took it upon themselves to unfairly brand a member of their team an enjoyer of "pillow biting,
rough anal fisticuffs", or Pooooof. Having been forced by circumstances beyond his bank account's control, this person then
left the fine city of Durham to attempt to restart his life elsewhere where the taunts would not follow him. Hoping to hide
himself in the deep smog of Birmingham hamlet, he undertook a position at the alleged "University of Birmingham", an establishment
that prided itself in its complete obscurity. Unfortunately the fellow members of his course for some reason decided that
the aforementioned jibes where true, thus augmenting the confusion of the fellow. It then occurred to this person that, should
he have never left the bright city of Durham, he could have quelled the rumours hands down with trips to Klute and molesting
of members of the junior University persuasion. This would then have left him free of the taint, and carefree in his actions.
Well, that man was me, and now I must confess that due to constant pressure I am now hoping to return to Durham, the bejeweled
city of the North, and set up a new gay pimping ring in the hope of converting other people of the same inclination. With
consistent rumours of anal didge from a certain individual named Toe (real name retained to protect the v. guilty) the chances
of finding some uphill gardeners is high. It is the realisation that if not for my links with Durham, I would never have started
my underground movement, the "Society of Tight Arses, Rectal Fisting and Intimately Shagging Homosexuals" that makes me understand
that I should never have left.
Here's to anal didge,
Bush (seems an inappropriate name now.)
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Sibling Rivalry and its Establishment of the "Better Syndrome"
Sibling rivalry was first seen during Ancient Greek times and it said
to have stemmed from the Latin "Bettium Cuzus Juniorus." This proverb came about by two brothers rivalry. They argued over
who was the better; the eldest, Arthus Son of Andus was an arrogant attention seeking fool who had an apprenticeship with
an overseas company called Enroni. His brother, who was regarded by others as the 'better' was a student and set his sights
on a rival company called Genius Soci.
Their father knew there could be only one successor to his business, Greek
Petroleum; so set his sons a task. He gave them a 1000 drachma each, to invest wisely. The person with the best returns after
a month would be the benefactor. The brothers applied themselves, Arthus son of Andus invested in WorldComium, which some
argued to be a conflict of interests! Cuzus Juniorus consulted his friends Coopus Waterhouseium and Priceus. He invested half
his money in early fruit machines so he and his friends could go to the a now famous drinking hole, vacca (the cow) and watch
people give him money while enjoying a pint a Castellum Edenum. The other half of the money was invested into lottus scratch
'n' sniff cards and he saved 2 drachma to pay some slave boy to scrub them off.
After the month was up, Arthus son
of Andus had almost doubled his money, but an audit saw this profit diminish and his accomplish Merrill was lynched. Cuzus
Juniorus drank most of his profits and set up a badger sanctuary called Badium Remnantus after there was fear of them being
over hunted. The morale of the story is Arthus son of Andus is now working under the merger of KP Crisps and MG Rover, and
the remnants do have Greek ancestry so consider Greece already conquered in the remnants aim to take over the world.
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| Curry should have known better than to mess with an angry dwarf |
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| Radiator never was very good at hide-and-seek |
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